Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Still life with...ferret?

My son got a ferret for his birthday, because he needed something else to feed and take care of. Or rather, I did, apparently, because even though he is 19 and in college, I still seem to be the one changing the cage.
Ferrets are extremely intelligent, enjoy playing with the kittens and stealing bags of potato chips out of the pantry.
Most of my day consists of removing the ferret from places he's decided to explore, like my sock drawer, the pantry, the bathroom trash can and the leg of my pants. His new trick is "knock all the soap and shampoo off the edge of the bathtub", which he follows up with a rousing game of dump over the trash can and spread the contents throughout the house!
The spawn named him "Antii" which in Norse or Danish or some other unpronounceable language apparently means "white furry rodent that sheds a half a pound of fur on your black t-shirt every time you pick him up". This leads to us keeping lint rollers all over the house, so that we can roll the fur off each other before we leave the house, so the neighbors don't think we are some sort of weirdos cultists who roll in animal fur.

But they view us with some suspicion anyhow, as we walk to ferret on a leash outside, and have 9 cats. So my day now consists of:

"feed ferret, and take out of the cage when he begins banging on it. Watch him drink out of the cat bowl and wonder what is wrong with his water bottle? Remove ferret from pantry. Remove ferret from under recliner. Remove ferret from under stove while maniacally yelling "Not for ferrets!". Put ferret in cage. Listen as he shakes the bars like some pathetic prisoner. Relent and let ferret out. Hunt for missing ferret. Find ferret asleep behind dresser. Pry ferret off of kitten. Take fruit roll up away from ferret. Wonder, briefly, where the fruit roll up came from.
Put ferret back in cage for the night."

I'm pretty fond of the little weasel though. Such a cute face. Such a cute, mischievous face...
Antii, where are you? Gotta go..

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